I’m a complete liar.

But you knew that already, huh? I told him I’d never seen a therapist, that it was my first time. We both know that’s bullshit. I was in therapy for over a year after Simon, and I’m still seeing someone off and on, dealing with the fallout from before Daniel was born.

I don’t know why I lied to him. Maybe because I could? I knew I’d have to tell him about the powers, about the life, and even about the past. But I didn’t choose this guy. He’s great, don’t get me wrong, but I’m forced to see him for work, and you know how well I deal with being forced to do anything. Maybe it was rebellion on my part, however small and insignificant it might ultimately be. I don’t know. What’s crazy is, I feel bad about it.

I feel you sometimes, watching me. Looking out for me. It’s…comforting. I hadn’t felt you in a very long time, until I came back from the island. Daniel, the thing with Tonya and Emily dating…I guess it just brought everything back so sharply, and there you were. Like it was yesterday.

I come up here a lot lately, to think. It’s a lot quieter than street level, and things don’t seem so overwhelming up here. Plus, I can’t concentrate when I’m flying. You’d think after all these years it would be second nature, like breathing, but it’s not. So I come up here, get some altitude, and try my best to shut it all out. I may try to find your spot on the moon, one of these days. You never talked about it, never told me about it, but I knew. I watched you take off a couple of times, and it doesn’t take much to do the math. Where else does the guy with hyper hearing go for a little peace and quiet? Makes sense really. I wasn’t supposed to know about the undersea lair either, but it’s hard keeping secrets from someone you’re sleeping with, at least for any length of time. You forgot I was nearly as powerful, nearly as fast as you. You spent so much time with people so far below your power level, you forgot to take precautions to keep someone like me from seeing the little things. Easy mistake I guess, and something I’ve tried my best to learn from.

Which brings me to another topic.

I’m…sorta seeing someone. I don’t know how serious it is at this point, but he’s nice, and I like him. He’s a regular sort of guy, lives a nice quiet life for the most part. He’s down to Earth, very sweet, and most importantly, he has no powers of any type. I’ve done the whole date the superhero thing, and I just wanted someone…normal. I haven’t been totally honest with him yet, but I’ll have to tell him everything eventually. It’s not fair keeping things like your girlfriend can dead lift a 747 a secret. He knows I was with someone, and they died, and that’s about it. I don’t know why I haven’t told him more really, other than the normal trust issues boiling back to the surface. The one thing about dating heroes is, you don’t have to deal with the initial shock of finding out. Shared pain and experience I guess. Still wasn’t worth it.

What the hell am I going to do, Ben? How do I make this work now? Daniel…I don’t even know him! He looks at me sideways, and I wonder what he might be getting ready to ask me, but then he shrugs and turns away. I know it’s not my fault, that I did everything I could to get home, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that we lost 4 years together. I can’t help feeling I’d know how to talk to him if we had that time back. All the power in the world and all I really want is to be able to talk to my kid.

Kids. Ugh. I’ll explain more about that later, it’s a talk unto itself, and I gotta go.

But thanks, for being there, even if just a little bit.